Of all the things that you see, your eyelids are the most important.

Miss

I came across something. Something related to someone that happened during my time in the insti and I feel like talking today; and who else is my favorite entity to talk to except for this place?

I am not sad because of that. Nostalgic - yes, but only just a little bit. They were one of those people that I let go. Actually there was hardly any letting go or holding on to them. They were like one of those things that you just wish for, knowing you shall never have. May be you would if you tried and were loaded with good luck but you don't feel sad if you don't. But you don't forget it either, for a long time.

I always knew that I will outlive everyone, and then in the end will pass away with no one noticing.

He knew that he was either being mocked or being manipulated when he was being "praised". But he is so desperate that he still wanted to believe that there was some truth in what he was being told.

There was time when you used to feel your brain working. When you could foresee into the Markov chain. You could think, and even act. You knew what you wanted.

Things aren't quite the same now. You obviously cannot recall when it changed, but you just wish that it went back to normal. You make conscious effort to keep your interests alive by involving yourself into stuff that you used to like, and it is not that you don't like it now. It is just that- you don't feel anything missing even if you are not involved in it. Everything looks gray. Everything looks autonomous. But you know that it is not.

They know that people will like it..only sane people I mean.
Sanity is relative though.

Weight

He has been feeling something really heavy inside him. He feels it all through the day as he carries out his everyday chores and till late in the night before he falls asleep.

Sometimes the load would become unbearable. Breathing would become difficult and then the heart would feel like it has been covered with sludge. This would last only for a few seconds, though, so there is no fear of life. But he knows that he is dying with every passing moment.